We won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know, overkill!) But I am excited! On behalf of K Beck, Gagert, Akpene, Abeiku, Sedinam, Patrick Adabla, Korkor and every Kenikodjo character ever created, thank you!! (If you don’t know who some (or all) of them are, then you have a lot of catching up to do!) My post about the #BloGhAwards16 journey is right here. But for now, let’s #KnowThyMan! 😉

‘You were awfully quiet back there.’, Tonia remarked as they drove back home. Adjeley lifted her eyes from her phone screen and smiled.

‘It was just a lot to take in. Your friend and her perfect house, perfect family, perfect kids, perfect kitchen, perfect juice…and then your other friend-her life is a wreck. How can you live with such a monster and not have an escape plan? They are like two extremes. You’ve been friends with Ewuraefua longer, right? How do you look at such perfection and not squirm?’

Tonia laughed.

‘You get used to it after a while. Plus it’s not like I’m looking to get married anytime soon. Besides that, there is no way I am going to let a man treat me the way Kafui’s husband treats her.’

‘If you say so. All this talk doesn’t make me feel like getting married anytime soon either.’

***

Peter was tired. It had been a long day and he really wanted some alone time, a cold beer and silence. But he knew Ewuraefua. She would have prepared a meal, made some juice and sent the kids to bed by the time they arrived. That meant that she would want to hear all about his journey and tell him everything that had happened in his absence. Woe betides him if he didn’t eat the dinner or was not in a chatting mood. Ewuraefua will switch into ‘Cold War’ mode. They had talked about this before-this tendency of her wanting him to talk when she was in the mood to talk and punishing him with silence when he wasn’t in the mood to. He had explained time and again how selfish this was and had begged her to be more considerate of his feelings more than a million times. Every single time she would agree, pledge to change and do the very same thing the next time. Peter was tired of talking about it.

Given his childhood experience , the home he had now was the one he had always dreamt of. On the contrary that was exactly the kind of home Ewuraefua had grown up in. What this meant was, certain things came to her more naturally than they did to him like yearly family photographs, family vacations and sharing what happened at the end of the day with your spouse. These things weren’t bad things-he actually liked them but sometimes he also thought the world would still rotate just fine without them. Tonight was one of those times.

When he entered the house, he sighed. He could smell the food-rice with turkey stew and sautéed vegetables. Ewuraefua burst out of the dining room with a broad smile on her face.

‘Welcome home!’

‘Thanks, I missed you guys.’ He hugged her with one arm and rubbed her back with the other.

‘Hungry?’

‘Not really, but I know better than to say no to your good cooking.’

He waited for her to dish out the food and listened to her as she told him about everything that had happened in his absence. His eyes widened when she got to the Kafui part. She looked disappointed when he didn’t ask any questions and then as expected she pulled out her classic spoilt kid act.

‘Why do you always do this? I’ve told you how much communication means to me. You’ve been gone for two weeks and all I want to do is tell you everything that happened in those two weeks.’

‘Ewuraefua, I don’t understand you. It’s been a really long flight. I’m tired, not hungry and definitely not in the mood for conversation. And yet like the dutiful husband I am, I’ve sat here for the last hour eating your food and listening to things that you can always tell me later on instead of being in bed. And yet, once again you have managed to make yourself the victim.’

‘Don’t shout, you’re going to wake the kids.’

‘Let them wake up if they have to. Let them know their parents can fight too. Not everything has to be perfect, Ewuraefua!’

‘Mummy?’

It was Kuuku. He was standing on the stairs, his eyes filled with bewilderment.

‘Hey, go back to bed. Everything is fine.’

Peter grabbed his car keys.

‘I am going out for a drive. Don’t wait up.’

***

Kafui flinched when she heard the door open. She looked at the watch. It’s was 11:45pm. She could hear Prosper fumbling around for something. After a few minutes, he entered the room. Yes, it was him and yes, he was drunk. He sat on the bed, and leered at her for what seemed like forever. Then in a gruff voice he said, ‘I see you came back from whatever god forsaken hole you crawled in to. You should have stayed there. It would have made life easier for all of us. Now I have to deal with seeing your face in the mornings and feeling your sweaty out of shape self against my body at night.’

Kafui pressed her lips together and allowed the tears to fall.

‘You can say the meanest things you want to me but they will not make me leave this house. Your words are exactly that-words. They won’t kill me, they won’t make me go mad, they won’t take away my dignity.’

‘Who turned you into PowerPuff Girl 3? Or you think we are acting a movie – Girl Power, Kafui Edition? You will not talk back at me and you’re definitely not going to determine what my words can or cannot do. I am the man of this house. If you have a problem with my words, do yourself and me a favor by getting the hell out of here. You should thank your stars that I am not bringing up your disappearing act. Shameless woman! How can you leave your child with a nanny for a whole night? You are just like your mother!’

It stung- the comparison to her mother but Kafui kept a blank look on her face, determined not to let him succeed. He was also determined to weaken her so he brought out the cavalry- the one thing he knew would break her.

‘Take off your clothes and bend over.’

‘Prosper- you don’t have to do that.’

‘Don’t make me repeat myself!’

She dutifully bent over and winced her way to the bathroom when he was done. Only when she was alone did she let the tears fall.

***

Adjeley was waiting for Nii to come online. One of the struggles they had to to deal with as a couple in a long distance relationship was the difference in time zones. She loved Nii- she had loved him since he was 14, annoying, cute, stubborn  and yanking at her pigtails to get her attention. When his parents decided to move to the Netherlands, she was heartbroken but he looked at her with his puppy dog eyes and told her to wait for him. And so she waited- until it got lonely waiting for him to reply her texts.She still loved him-yes but she was ‘keeping herself busy’. That’s where the Andre Guerreros and Pablo Manuels came in. They had money to spend, time on their hands and knew how to treat a woman right. They were good company for now- at least until Nii came back.

No, she could not bring herself to tell him that they were sharing her with him. It would break his heart especially because he was waiting for their wedding night to break his virginity. He had always wanted to wait until his wedding night and now that he had gone abroad, he had found a purity ring to go with it. She knew the day was coming when he would have to hear that his flower had already been ‘deflowered’ by many gardeners.

***

Tonia tossed and turned a few more times before her eyes finally closed. It had been quite a stressful day. After thinking about Kafui and wondering what the night held for her, she allowed herself to dream about Tim, the one man she had allowed herself to love, the same man who left without so much of a goodbye. In the dream, she was lying on a beach, clad in a barely there bikini, flaunting her legs for the whole world to see, all the while sipping on a Pina Colada. Just then, bare chested  Tim came from behind her and covered her eyes.

‘I know who this is. You can’t fool me, Tim.’

‘Who said this was Tim?’

She opened her eyes and yes, she was looking at Tim but hearing Paa Kow’s voice.

‘Who are you?’, she asked.

‘Who do you want me to be? Tim or Paa Kow?’

And then she woke up..

There are many stories behind today’s post. I will tell some of them on my Facebook wall and on Twitter. Other than that, happy reading! 

Happy Wednesday! #KnowThyMan is back! Welcome to all our new readers- there is plenty room in this family for you. If you are new to the series, here is where we left off last week. Today we discover a little bit of how all 4 women are connected. I am excited- the story is beginning to come together. Happy reading- and sharing! The sharing is off the charts these days, thanks to you guys!!

The sunlight rays interrupted her sleep without her permission. Not that she was complaining- she had had a bad dream. In it, she was falling down a steep abyss and screaming out for someone to save her. When she opened her eyes, she was terrified. This was unfamiliar territory. Then she remembered.

Prosper. Junior. Running to Ewuraefua’s place. Begging her not to let him take her away.

I feel sick.

Looking around, she noticed that Ewuraefua had left a toothbrush, a fresh towel and a dress on the chair in the room. She looked at the time.

Good heavens, it is 10:30!

Fifteen minutes later, she found her way downstairs where Ewuraefua was sewing a button onto a shirt that looked like it belonged to her husband.

‘Good morning!’, Ewuraefua cheerily called out, as if it was second nature for Kafui to be there. As if yesterday didn’t happen.

‘Hi, good morning. Listen-I just wanted to say thank you for yesterday. I didn’t have to drag you into my mess. You have been nothing but supportive. I don’t want to be a burd-‘

‘Nonsense! What are friends for, if we can’t hold each other up from time to time? I see you found the clothes. They are my sister’s. Would you like some breakfast?’

‘Yes please. Actually – no, Prosper disapproves of my eating. He says all I do is gain weight.’

‘Hey, listen to me. Even if you are watching your weight, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You should eat something- especially after the kind of night you have been through. We’ll get through this, I promise. One thing at a time.’, Ewuraefua said, touching her shoulder.

Kafui looked down at her hands and started crying softly. It felt so good to have someone speak lovingly to her, after so long. It almost felt like she didn’t know how to react to such kindness- whether to be touched or to be scared that it would not last forever. Ewuraefua began to stroke her back, hoping that it would make her feel better.

---

 

Tonia had always wondered how she and Ewuraefua became friends. They were not similar in any way. Ewuraefua was the perfect woman- clean kitchen, doting wife, loving mother, great cook, polite children, kind, selfless, devoted to her Bible and its teachings. She was a land economist who did her work from home, simply because it allowed her to be home when her children got back. Tonia was the direct opposite. She could not keep a room clean to save her life. She definitely did not want a husband and kids. The only thing she could cook was boiled rice- with a rice cooker. Tim was the chef- he made her sandwiches and jollof rice all the time, back then. She was blunt and her choice of fashion made the ladies in Ewuraefua’s Bible Study group cringe.

And yet- Ewuraefua never judged her. She tolerated her brash and arrogant views and got Tonia to attend church service with her every once in a while. Ewuraefua was a good person- she made being a mother and wife almost attractive. Almost.

Pulling up at Ewuraefua’s house, she nodded at Hassan, the security man and turned to wake Adjeley up.

‘We are here. Wake up.’

Walking round the house to the entrance that led to the kitchen, she saw Ewuraefua hugging someone.

Another Good Samaritan project.

Ever since she met Ewuraefua, there was always one person or another that she was helping out- from a troubled teenager to a homeless cat. Ewuraefua’s first instinct was always to help someone out. Knocking gently at the door, she let herself in, with Adjeley tagging not too far behind.

‘Hey. Bad time?’

‘No, come on in. This is one of my neighbours, Kafui. Kafui, this is my friend, Tonia..’

‘and my cousin, Adjeley. Everything okay here?’

Ewuraefua looked at Kafui, wondering if she wanted the details of her marriage spilled out in front of strangers. Before she could open her mouth, Kafui was already talking.

‘I couldn’t take it anymore-the bullying, the name calling, the cheating. I couldn’t take it. So I ran here- and now I feel like a wreck. Like the irresponsible mother my mum said I would be, I left my son with him.’

Tonia could feel the rage building up in her. She could not stand abuse of any kind and this woman looked like she had been through hell and back.She swallowed hard and asked her first question.

‘How long have you been married?’

‘3 years. My father didn’t like him so he never gave his blessing. We got married when he passed away. I thought he was different- he made me laugh, he didn’t mind my folds- he called them love handles. He wasn’t your regular Ewe man plus he didn’t mind moving to the Catholic church. I lost our first baby after 3 months and then things went south. He said all I ever did was mope around the house. He became cold. It was so depressing that all I did was eat and binge watch movies.’

‘Where was your mother in all of this?’

‘My mother has never been my friend. I spent so much time complaining about her to Prosper that she lost all respect in his eyes. Besides, I could not let her know that I had failed at marriage- all my life, she used to call me ‘good for nothing’. I could not prove her right. It was just-‘

The sobs took over. Adjeley was fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable with all the crying and difficult marriage narrative. She asked if she could be excused and went outside for a walk.

‘You know, sometime ago, I would have killed to look like her. She is so slim with full curves in all the right places. She can eat anything at all without worrying about calories. I have tried everything- water therapy, pills, exercise, diets- everything but surgery. It never works. I just keep getting fatter and he just keeps treating me like a piece of garbage.’

Tonia had had it and was obviously ready for some action.

‘You don’t have to allow that kind of behaviour. He doesn’t have the right to treat you like a piece of garbage. We are going to get you out of there.’

‘I want my marriage to work. He wasn’t always like this. I don’t want my son to grow up in a broken home. I want to fix this. God help me.’

‘Wait, what? So we are just supposed to sit around and sing Kumbaya until he comes around? I don’t get you Christian peeps. The whole God is in control thing. What’s that about? He is going to keep doing this because you allow him to. God has nothing to do with this.’

‘Tonia, that’s enough.’

There it was, voice of reason, aka Ewuraefua.

There was silence.

‘I am sorry. I was out of line. One of the things you would realize about me is I have strong opinions and I am not afraid to voice them out. Ewuraefua seems to tolerate my no nonsense nature well. Sometimes, I forget that and take her for granted, like I have just done today. Let’s start over. I will really like to help. Friends?’

Kafui looked at Tonia for a while, almost as though she was assessing whether or not to let her in once again. She finally spoke.

‘I didn’t have many friends growing up. I’d like to make some, especially now. So yes, friends.’

‘Thanks. Hi, I am Tonia.’

Kafui giggled and extended her hand.

‘Kafui. Pleasure to meet you.’

‘You mentioned a son. Can I see him?’

‘Sure. My husband will be at work by now. Let’s go and see Junior.’

Grabbing her purse, Ewuraefua looked at the glass of water sitting where Adjeley was seated earlier.

‘Where is Adjeley?’

‘Probably talking to her boyfriend outside. Crying makes her uncomfortable.’

‘She has a boyfriend? I thought it was the Lebanese pensioner that she liked. And you can’t call a man his age a boyfriend.’

‘Haha, Ewuraefua, very funny. She has a boyfriend. They are in a long distance relationship. It’s been 3 years or so since they last saw each other.’

‘Wow.’

Ten minutes later, all was forgotten as they passed Junior around.

‘He is really adorable. You are blessed to have him and this is coming from someone who doesn’t want kids.’, Tonia said quietly as she cradled him in her hands.

‘Yes, he is amazing. I am determined to do right by him, even if it takes every bit of my strength.’

‘Okay, I am not for this Kumbaya approach but I respect your decision. We’ll all take turns in helping you. My job is to help you lose some weight and help you sort out your wardrobe. We can get you a new pixie cut- it will look flattering on you. Even if that monster doesn’t see that yet, we will make him see it. First step is, repeat after me, ‘I am beautiful.’

‘I am beautiful.’

‘Yes, you are, Kafui. And you have got us- we can do this- one step at a time.’

Junior burped and with it came out some breast milk, all over Tonia’s T.M. Lewin shirt.

‘Well, it seems Junior agrees with me.’

They all burst into laughter, a sound that wasn’t often heard in the Atisu household. Kafui looked at all of them and smiled.

One day at a time.

See you next week. Next week, we meet the men! 🙂

P.S: I don’t know why you guys keep talking about short episodes. This is almost 1700 words oo! *mischevious grin*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, well, well, what a welcome! Thank you for the rousing welcome. Episode 1 had almost as many views as our last episode of Capital High! Today I am excited because my phone is finally working after 7 and a half weeks. You have no idea just how much time your phone robs you of, until you no longer have one. To cut a long story short, I locked my phone. It has been such a long journey. A thousand apologies to those of who have been trying to reach me. I am back, baby! 😉 I can’t tell the story without mentioning the amazing CPR who moved heaven and earth to fix it. Today’s episode is dedicated to him for worrying about the phone more than I did, tirelessly following up and doing everything to make the waiting period bearable. We should invent another word to describe you. Amazing doesn’t even begin to do you justice!  ❤

3 hours before Prosper started banging on her door, Ewuraefua’s hands were full. She had to put the kids to sleep and clean up her kitchen. Kuuku insisted on her tucking him into bed and singing for him. He had his moments and like every 2 year old, he did not take no for an answer. She sighed and promised to sing for him as soon as she was done with the dishes. As expected, he began to throw one of his legendary tantrums. Those tantrums had been nicknamed ‘Kuuku’s Vesuvius’, after Mount Vesuvius. His elder sister had given the tantrums that name after her science teacher taught them about volcanos.

Ewuraefua knew why Kuuku was being clingy. Anytime she was extremely busy, she knew that he could sense that she would not have enough time for him and this was his way of ensuring that he had more than enough of his share. She knew that her husband disapproved of the ‘pampering’ but she could not say no to her son. Women were not allowed to have favourite children but in her heart, she knew Kuuku was her favourite. It wasn’t anything in particular that made him stand out, other than his uncanny ability of knowing when she needed a hug.

She pushed her hands back into the warm soapy water and grasped the sponge. After washing the plates and the pan she cooked the spaghetti in, she poured water into the pan in which she had heated the minced meat stew. The pan was losing its non-stick quality and some of the stew had stuck to the bottom of the pan. She sprayed the Mr Muscle multi purpose solution on the burner, scrubbing off all the splashes and stains from that evening’s meal. She loved cleaning- it allowed her to think and pray. It also gave her a sense of pride when any of her friends came to her house and exclaimed, ‘Wow, your kitchen is spotless!’.

Once she was done,she climbed the stairs to Kuuku’s room, where he had fallen asleep from exhaustion. She smiled to herself and covered him with his Ninja Turtles duvet.He whimpered and let out an involuntary breath spasm- the kind you make after crying too hard when you are 2 years old. Ewuraefua sat on the bed and began to rub his back, while singing Edelweiss very softly. It was one of his favourite songs, right next to Father Abraham had many sons and Jesus loves me, this I know.

Small and white, clean and bright
You look happy to meet me
Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
Bloom and grow forever
Edelweiss, Edelweiss, Bless my homeland forever.

When it was clear that he was in 2 year old dreamland, she got up and went to check on Esowba and Kwamena. After six years of putting him to bed, she knew that he was not asleep and was just faking the limp body and concealing his game under the covers. Reaching under the covers to tickle him, she exclaimed, ‘I know you are not asleep!’ She made him say his prayers and then she turned off the light.

‘Promise me, you will go to bed. You have school tomorrow. If you wake up on time, I will make you an omelette to go with your oats for breakfast, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘I love you Kay.’

‘I love you Mummy’

She moved on to Esowba’s room and paused at the door. Of all her children, Esowba was her Achilles heel. Try as she would, Esowba refused to ‘open up’ to her. She was intelligent, sensitive, protective of her brothers and the spitting image of her father. She would make conversation and tease her brothers but as soon as she and Ewuraefua were left alone, a wall was immediately erected. Things had’t always been like this. Esowba had come home one day from school when she was 5 and refused to embrace her mother or eat her dinner. Things had spiralled out of control since then.

She knocked hesitantly.

‘Please come in.’

Esowba was curled up in her bed, reading what looked like an encyclopedia.

‘Isn’t the light too dim? I’ll have the bulb changed tomorrow.’

‘Thanks.’

There was silence.

Ewuraefua gave it another try.

‘How was school today?’

‘Fine.’

‘Did anything interesting happen?’

‘Not really.’

We have moved to two worded answers. Progress.

‘Let’s pray. It is getting late. You have school tomorrow.’

She listened as Esowba thanked God for a good day and asked for sound sleep and a good day tomorrow. Then she headed downstairs. Peter was due to return the next day so it meant that she did not have company for their favourite TV show, The Good Wife. She was beginning to doze off when the doorbell rang. Wondering who could be, she lowered the volume and peeped through the window. It was Kafui and she was running.

Ewuraefua opened the door even before she got there. She was shaking and crumbled at her feet, burying her face in the carpet.

‘I can’t take it anymore. I am not going back.’ she managed to say, amidst sobs.

‘What is wrong?’

‘We don’t have time. He is going to come looking for me. Whatever you do, don’t let him take me away.’

‘Who? Prosper?’

She nodded, all the while breathing heavily. Ewuraefua led her to the kitchen and poured her a glass of the watermelon juice she had made this afternoon. Ordinarily, Kafui would have lit up at the sight of the juice but she just kept crying. Kafui and her husband had moved in two houses down the lane, five months ago. Kafui was then heavily pregnant with their first child. When the pregnancy was seven months old, the doctors prescribed bed rest for her because the pregnancy was taking a toll on her. Her time at home had made her strike an acquaintance with Ewuraefua. She knew that Ewuraefua would protect her, listen, give good advice and not judge her. She winced when she heard the banging at the gate.

‘I’ll be right back.’

As Ewuraefua walked towards the door, her heart was racing. She wondered what she was going to tell him and if he would believe it.

I wish you were here, Peter. You would know what to do.

Just before she opened the door, she whispered a silent prayer.

---

‘I am not going back there.’

‘You still haven’t told me what is wrong.’

‘Marriage is supposed to be a dream come true. You are supposed to be happy- not belittled, appreciated- not despised. I don’t remember the last time I smiled.’

‘But you just had a baby.’

‘Coincidentally, that is one of our problems.’

Kafui’s eyes were bloodshot and the crying had given her a headache. Her hands were still shaking and she sat on them, hoping that it would make the shaking stop.

‘He humiliates me. It was small things at first. Calling me Miss Piggy when my nose became big during the pregnancy. Offering me double portions of food in front of his friends and mimicking a dog anytime he saw me chewing. After a while, it began to sting but I told myself that it would get better when I finally gave birth. This child is 5 months old and it has just gotten worse. Now he makes ‘moo’ sounds when I breastfeed the baby, implying that I am a cow.He complains that I am married to the baby. He doesn’t eat at home. He comes home with alcohol on his breath. He doesn’t touch me- when he does, it is void of passion. The last time we had sex-which is probably before Nkrumah became President, he called me Anita. Who the hell is Anita?’

The words trailed off, replaced by loud sobs. Ewuraefua could only rub her back until the crying had subsided.

‘What about the baby? He needs you.’

‘He said he would not let me take him. I told him I needed space. He said it is his son and he will live in his house until he is 18. I thought I was going to lose my mind if I stayed one more night like that, so I ran off when he went to the washroom. Junior has the nanny with him, at least. He should be fine until morning. I have expressed breast milk enough to last three days and he also takes formula. I hate being away from my child but I can’t lose my mind.’

‘You won’t lose your mind. You will be fine, trust me. Right now, I want you to take a shower and get some rest. I will leave a nightshirt for you in the guest room. We’ll talk tomorrow.’

See you next week! Do share your thoughts with the #KnowThyMan hashtag! -Keni