Series

Know Thy Man Ep08: Pizza Boys 

It’s Wednesday again. Even if I had forgotten, your incessant messages, tags and reminders made it impossible to forget. I loved last week’s cliffhanger, did you? I love how the story changes based on your reactions- it makes the journey as exciting for me as it is for you. So, I have noticed that a lot more people are reading #KnowThyMan but not many of you are talking about it- not like you did with Capital High. I get that it is easier to talk about Ninos’ Night and chop boxes than it is to talk about infidelity and anal sex 😀, but it really helps to get feedback on the content. Do let me know what you think about the series or any of the episodes you have read by posting with the #knowthyman hashtag. Anything at all- reactions, questions, memes, a quote that struck you, anything at all. I will find it and I will read and share it. I know you are amazing readers so you will blow my mind as always. Thanks in advance! Love, Keni! 

P.S: Today’s episode is dedicated to two of my June darlings; Abokuma Ellis and Benjamin Anyan. Thanks for being awesome. June is a great month because both of you were born in it. The only downside to your month is that plantain is not in season. It is getting depressing mehn! Shout outs to all my Kenikodjo pharmacists who got inducted today- especially Yvonne and Rosie. I am so proud of you!! 💜

Official hashtag for the series. Pretty cool, isn’t it? I designed it myself on my phone ✌🏾️

Tim’s eyes widened when he saw Tonia sauntering towards them.

No, it is not her.

It can’t be her.

Wait, it is her! 

Why is she walking towards us with her smile on her face?

Does she have acid in the bag she is carrying? Or a gun?

His mind ran wild with possibilities and all the while, he kept a poker face on, because he really didn’t know what to expect. He knew he owed her an explanation-no, an apology. He knew that she would be shaken to see him, at least he expected her to be. He had been gone for too long. He watched her plant a kiss on Paa Kow’s cheek, confirming his suspicions.

Tonia was in love with his twin.

Well, not exactly his twin- in the real sense of the word. Paa Kow and Tim had become childhood friends after they discovered their uncanny resemblance. It all started because Paa Kow was punished for doing something that Tim had done- throwing pebbles at the heads of everyone who passed under the mango tree he was sitting on. The poor boy was kneeling down in front of two old men who had suffered at the hands of Tim when they saw Tim.

‘Herh, are you twins? Or you are the one who did it? This one looks too calm for this kind of mischief. Come here.’

Kneeling side by side, refusing to give up the culprit, the seeds of a lifelong friendship were sown. A lot of theories started flying around as to why they looked so alike. Some people said they were twins who had been separated at birth, other people said they had one father who had very powerful genes, others said they were cousins. Even their mothers found it difficult to tell them apart sometimes. After watching Paa Kow’s mother being harassed by a woman who was convinced that she had had an affair with Tim’s father, the boys came up with a theory. To everyone who asked, they were first cousins. It was the easiest of the options. It shut the gossips up and saved their mothers from scrutiny.

They were as thick as thieves- going everywhere together, doing everything together. Tim was the mischievous one, the mastermind and Paa Kow was the innocent one, loyal to his leader. When they were older and about to head into different universities, Paa Kow asked Tim after their Sunday Omotuo and groundnut soup ritual, ‘Should we go and get a paternity test, now that we are going our separate ways?’

‘Paternity test for what? We are brothers- we don’t need a test to tell us that.’

‘Yeah chale, brothers for life.’

Adjeley was one of those girls who looked like she was sleeping with the lecturer for grades, but she wasn’t. All she needed was to pay attention when the teacher was teaching and the occasional study group meeting. She made good grades and was determined not to go any lower than a 3.85 GPA.

‘Adjeley, Adjeley, wait up!’

She turned to see Paul, one of the guys in her group chat running up to her.

‘Your explanation really helped me today. Thanks.’

‘You are welcome.’

‘You left your pen behind. That’s why I followed you. Well, I also wanted to ask you something.’

She could see where this was going. His grin was way too wide, almost as if Messi had broken another world record and he and his roommates were charging down the stairs in Mensah Sarbah Hall Annex C, screaming their lungs out. He was going to ask her to go out with him.

‘I really like you. I want to go on a date with you and get to know you more.’

‘Oh okay. Where should we go?’

‘Eddy’s Pizza. They have one right here in East Legon.’

‘Paul, you see, that’s the problem. I don’t do pizza boys. I know the average girl would be thrilled. You seem like a nice guy, but it won’t work. You’ll buy a 35 cedis pizza and two bottles of Coke and sit close to me in the dimly lit room and think I will be thrilled. I won’t. I want to eat foods that I can’t pronounce and drink a glass of wine that costs more than the entire meal at Eddy’s plus a generous tip. This is why it won’t work. I hope you understand.’

Paul stood there, gaping at his dream girl. The boys had told him that she would not be easy to woo, but he had expected her to stretch him, not to verbally undress him and toss his clothes in the fire. He had pictured it all in his mind’s eye- the date, the jokes he would make, the taxi ride back and the walk to her room. Strangely, he liked her too much to be angry or insulted.

‘She just has high standards’, he told himself.

He turned and started walking to his hall. When he got to his room, he realized he was still holding her pen.

At least I got a souvenir.

It took every ounce of Tonia’s strength to act normally around Tim. She knew that he could still read her so she was determined to give him wrong signals. She looked calmly at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. She knew his mind was probably spilling over with all  kinds of possibilities because of how crazy she could get. Up close, she started to notice the subtle differences between the two men- Paa Kow’s cheeks were fuller, Tim was slightly taller and his eyes were also smaller. She knew for a fact that Tim was not a twin- it had not come up even once in their 3 year relationship.

They had to be cousins or siblings separated at birth or something. But funny enough, she was not worried about that. She was hurt that he was in such close proximity and had never reached out to her, not even once. To top it all, he had become a priest.

Tim. A priest?!

Everything reckless she had ever done, she had done with him- from drinking to smoking to experimenting with aphrodisiacs. To see him looking as pious as the apostle Peter after witnessing the transfiguration was funny- hilarious actually! She bit her lip to regain composure and turned her attention to Paa Kow, who had just repeated his question.

‘You two know each other?’

‘Yes we do. I used to be in love with him.’

‘Typical Tonia. Go ahead and make me squirm.’, Tim thought to himself.

She looked up like she had just said something as casual as ‘Let’s buy avocado pears to go with the waakye.’ She touched Paa Kow’s elbow as if to say ‘Shall we?’

She nodded at Tim and said, ‘See you around, Father.’

As soon as they were in the car, she knew Paa Kow would have a torrent of questions.

‘What just happened?’

‘Exactly what I told you.’

‘How am I hearing about this for the first time?’

‘I told you about my first love.’

‘Yes but you conveniently forgot to mention that he looks exactly like me.’

‘Paa Kow, let’s not fight about this.’

‘This isn’t something to gloss over, Tonia. This is not just anyone. He is my brother.’

See you next week! 

66 thoughts on “Know Thy Man Ep08: Pizza Boys ”

  2. Oh no, this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay smaller than half an episode mpo. I feel lyk I’m in d air koraa with no ladder to descent with. I’m going to sleep, see u tomorrow with d rest of d story

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  3. Herh what kind of Ayariga tins is that? Keni wo ab3 y3 steady wati!😒 But I super enjoyed it. Esp “yes we do. I used to be in love with him.”

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  10. just when I was about to sit down and enjoy the story, it got finished. *sigh* I do like the bit about the pizza boys though. great work keni

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  12. Haha, definitely too short
    You have a gift Keni…blessed..
    ..I don’t do pizza boys…, I was literally like ”oh yawa oo”

    Keep writing😎

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  13. This is waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy shorter than the other episodes.. 😩😩😩 “I don’t tink madness”… Please compensate us next week.
    aye Adjeley has no chill! The way she bounced the poor boy😂😂😂😂😂. Awww. I can imagine the way he’s practiced paaaa, morbor!! I’m loving this series!! Always looking forward to it!!! 💜💜

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  14. Adjeley!!!!! 😂😂🙌🙌 she has killed me with this one
    Good job Keni! But it is short ooo 😢
    Tell Wednesday to come quickly

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  21. So the reason my episode is this short is…..? In fact, I have revoked your birthday cake rights. Padiki paaaaa. Tsk tsk tsk. Now you have to find another way to make it up to me 🤔😂😂😂

    Thank you though. ❤️ Much appreciated 😘

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  25. when your eyes are hurting but you still manage to finish reading and ask for more, you just know the story is lit

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  26. ok so this is what happened to me… i saw the story, started reading, then it was time for my class so i went hoping to come to it. Right after my class i jump to read, only to finish in a few minutes….am literally about to cry but i wont cry… i will wait for next week to declare the goodness of #KTM.

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  27. Keni I know a lot has been said about how short this episode is, so I’m not commenting! Guess you have to compensate us next week or else I go back to my “hoarding” mood! 😉 I know you won’t push me to do that

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  28. “I want to eat foods that I can’t pronounce and drink a glass of wine that costs more than the entire meal at Eddy’s plus a generous tip.”
    Kw3 girl n3 y3 class

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  30. Today that i decided to horde two episodes and read. It turned out to be one and a half episodes. Keni dey gee w’ate. Loved it. Thank you very seriously. Stay talented.

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  32. I want to eat foods that I can’t pronounce and drink a glass of wine that costs more than the entire meal at Eddy’s plus a generous tip.

    Charle……

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  34. Keni what’s this.. No further comment. I looove Adjeley, my kinda girl.. Make the guy squirm he won’t forget you ever hehehe. I used to be in love with him paaa. Keni you won’t kill me. Pleeeeaasse a longer episode next week. I’m wearing my mono face.

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  36. Keni, were you that tired? This one die3 is way tooooooo short😭😭😭 Enjoyed every bit of it though👌🏾 Mehnnn Tonia has got some real guts😄 Girl, you do all✌🏿️✌🏿✌🏿

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  37. Her standards are all the way up,and practically shows why you need to be unique as a man in this game. She ain’t any ordinary gal. Thumbs up gal i enjoyed this.

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  38. “he had expected her to stretch him, not to verbally undress him and toss his clothes in the fire.” 👊👊👊AGYEI!!! If we we’re paying to read each episode, I hope you know you’d be paying millions for fraud and damages (especially emotional ). Lol. Anyway, I’d like to say a heartfelt thank you that Paa Kow and Tim are not biologically related👏😘👍… at least for now… you saved a life #knowthyman👌👌👌👌👌

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  39. Tonia is a true sassymissy.she’s dat good.Great job MISS KENI.o boy o boy o boy,you really know how to build up suspense to a masterful climax.EXCITED ANTICIPATION

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  41. lol…so i’d also comment a first time.
    ‘At least I got a souvenir.’…hahahaaaa..i can’t think far. Great work Keni…been following your work all along!

    Keep the suspense!

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